How to Get the Butterflies Back
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How to Get the Butterflies Back
By~Lindsey K. Rietzsch
how to date your spouse.com
Have you lost that lovin’ feeling in your relationship? Marriage is not always a bed of roses however it can and should be enjoyable. Here are some helpful tips that will ensure to revive that spark!
“E” for Effort
Remember how exciting everything was when you first began dating? You and your “spouse-to -be” were always on your best behavior and always looking for ways to stay on cloud nine. You actually planned your dates ahead of time. Why, because you wanted everything to be smooth and perfect. Being prepared and taking time to plan a special night is a display of affection, love and respect.
Things should not be any different now. Your spouse will still feel special when you make an effort to clean the car before a romantic night on the town. When the date begins leave behind any baggage from your busy day and focus on your spouse. Bring along a camera and take pictures. Be proud to be seen with your spouse and make every moment count. By making your spouse feel important and special, the results will be anything but disappointing!
Ignite the Romance
If you find that the romance has dried up, step back and evaluate your dating style. When you plan dates are you planning anything romantic or special? Movies, dinner, recreational activities (especially with the kids) are always fun, however “fun” does not always invite romance. It’s great for building a friendship, but what about a love life?
Plan dates that create a mood for this. Soft music, candles and perfume never hurt. Also, anything that allows for you to be physically close with few distractions will help you to focus on each other and build that romance. Dancing, ice skating, spa services, swimming, etc. are examples of activities that offer physical closeness and are free of stress and distractions.
Dress to Impress
Smell good and dress attractively to entice your spouse into an intimate relationship. Visit a makeup counter or salon for a new change and refreshing look. Purchase a new outfit to sport on your date. Take care of your body. You may be months away from your ideal weight or body image, however just the act of exercising tells your spouse that you care about your body and want to be healthy and look good. This is attractive in itself as it builds good self-esteem which is always a desirable characteristic.
Mystery isn’t History
Remember the first time you laid your eyes on your spouse? There was so much to unfold and you had so many questions. Every time you went out on a date it was another opportunity to satisfy your curiosity. Why is that years later you feel there is no more mystery left?
A positive way to build mystery back into your marriage is to plan surprises. Large or small, planning a surprise is a fun way to keep your spouse on his/her toes and wondering what you are up to. If your spouse is aware that you have a surprise in the works it will be nearly impossible to keep it out of his/her mind. This means that you’ll be the center of your spouse’s thoughts.
Another great tip for a little mystery is to plan some alone time for yourself. This allows for you to have a little bit of space which is healthy for building a strong relationship. Even a weekend getaway with your close pals will allow for you to miss your spouse.
Fuel Excitement
Think back to when you last felt that butterfly sensation. Remember that it was an exciting feeling that got your heart racing. Adrenaline is the key component to this ultimate sensation of feeling head over heels. So how can revisit this euphoric sensation? Plan some exciting dates with your spouse that will get your heart racing. Try something that you have avoided such as sky diving, river rafting, skiing, or any adventure that makes you weak in the knees. Experiencing something new with your spouse that you have been afraid to try will obligate you to rely on him/her or her to help calm you down and keep you focused. Imagine free falling on a bungee cord while wrapped tightly in the arms of your spouse. What an exciting and euphoric feeling. This will perform wonders on your marriage and create a date that you’ll never forget.
Flirt!
Need I say more? If flirting feels foreign then you have some work to do. Wrap your arms around your spouse often; be playful and youthful. It’s okay to let loose and be silly once in a while. Don’t be afraid to publicly praise and compliment each other. Yes, touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, has its benefits. Be careful not to go overboard and overwhelm your spouse, look for appropriate moments and find balance.
My favorite tip to offer is to suggest having a starring contest while in each other’s arms. Set a prize for the winner – maybe the winner chooses the date, dinner, or movie for that night, or maybe the loser cleans up dinner or gives the winner a massage. You decide!
Good Luck!
Lindsey Rietzsch is a relationship coach and author of How to Date Your Spouse – A Couple’s Guide to Falling and Staying in Love. For date ideas, marriage advice, and more information about Lindsey and her book, visit: www.how to date your spouse.com